Kimberly Menozzi, Author
Follow me!
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Novels
  • Bio
  • Order Books
  • Contact
  • Reviews
  • Works in Progress
  • Interviews

13 Things I'll Probably Never Do

3/3/2011

14 Comments

 
Picture
I had this blog done once. Completely. It was ready to go and all I needed to do was hit the "Publish" button. Instead, I hit something else and it went "poof".

Argh.

Anyway, here it is. Again.

The idea for this week's Thursday Thirteen came while I was up in the middle of the night with the cat (she insisted on having attention, along with fresh gooshy food) and a bad cold. I found myself thinking "I'll never sleep again," followed shortly by "I'll never breathe clearly again." (Give me a break - I'm sick and haven't rested well for a long time. I tend toward melodrama in these moments.) It occurred to me that there are things which I'm really not going to do, in any likelihood, and so I started jotting them down until the cat knocked the pen out of my hand. (Both hands for scritches, mm'kay?)

So now I'd like to share with you

13 Things I'll Probably Never Do

Picture
Sooooo not happening. (Quick and Dirty pic.)
1) Win an Academy Award.

I'm not saying it's totally impossible - writers do win them, of course - it's just not terribly likely.

It is unlikely the event would look anything like this picture. Worst hair in Oscars history, though. I'd be kinda proud of that. Too bad my body wouldn't be as nice in that dress.

Picture
Nope. Not happening.
2) Walk on the Moon.

Just sayin' - it's not likely to happen, ya know? Although it'd be nice to be somewhere I could weigh what I did in high school. Heh.
Picture
3) Windsurf.

I hate the beach. I'm not keen on swimming in the ocean. The sun and I have an understanding: I avoid it and it doesn't cause me to get skin rashes.

And then I'd probably knock myself out with the sail on the board or something and drown.

Not gonna happen.

Picture
My first-ever flight in an airplane was in this model of Cessna. Fact!
4) Learn to fly a plane.

I actually almost did this. Then life took me in a different direction. Grrr... Again, it's not impossible - just not likely at this point in time.
Picture
5) Own a muscle car.

When I was in high school, I wanted this kind of car so much I could taste it! (Ick.)

Now? Not so much. So I probably won't go out and get one now.

Picture
6) Receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

With my temper? Are you kidding? I'll probably never do that.
Picture
Nope. This won't convince me.
7) Wear high heels.

I'm not a fashion fiend, so since I find heels uncomfortable, impractical and damaging to the body, I'll pass on them from here on out.

Besides, if I even wear house slippers with a slight wedge to 'em, my back goes out.

Not good.

Picture
Further reasons why I won't wear 'em.
Picture
My hubby holding Sophie's tail so she can eat. Seriously.
8) Understand my cat's behavior.

Neuroticism taken to a whole new level. Sophie (a.k.a. Doodlebug) has a list of issues as long as my arm. Among them are these gems:
a) No one can sleep in if she's awake.
b) She must be kept company for no less than half an hour in the middle of the night - or no-one sleeps. (She's big on the whole sleep-deprivation thing, can you tell?)
c) If someone is home and she wants to eat/snack, that someone must hold her tail so she can do so.
d) Her tail is stalking her and must be destroyed.
e) She attacks my hubby as he goes into the shower and closes the shower stall door. Every. Morning. No exceptions!
f) Something in the sewing machine cabinet (it's empty, btw) is out to get us all - and she will defend us - but only at Midnight. Or later.
g) She randomly decides that we are about to do her harm and we must be stopped. At. All. Costs. Especially if we've opened a door to let her into a room she's been whining to be let into (i.e., my office). This is an unforgivable infraction of some unwritten law. Apparently.

Nope. I'll probably never understand her, but I'll take my cuddles when I can get 'em.
Picture
9) Drive a car in Italy.

Just, uhm... No.

I'll drive in the US, but not here. I don't have the right stuff.

Picture
10) Go to India.

At one point in my life, this was actually quite likely to happen. Not now. I kinda think it'd be neat to do, still, but I lack the impetus at the moment to attempt it.

So, yeah. Probably not gonna do it.
Picture
11) Use a compound bow.

(How's that for random?)

I was once an archery enthusiast. (Target shooting only, thanks. I don't want to kill anything.) I preferred the simple bow at the time.

Then I thought I'd like to try a compound bow. As soon as I held one in my hand, I changed my mind. Not my thing.

I'll probably never use one.

Picture
Don't try this at, uh, home...?
12) Ride a bike up l'Alpe d'Huez.

I'll probably never ride a bike up the hill my mother's house is on, much less up this gorgeous road. I'll leave it to the professionals, thanks. I'm not entirely sure I'd be averse to a couple of days in a camper waiting for the pros to do it, though. Heh. (It slows 'em down a bit... *pinch-pinch*)
Picture
This is NOT my office.
13) Get my office completely organized.

I'm messy by nature. I admit it. But I generally know where everything is, so it isn't usually a problem. (Usually.)

Still, I dream of having an office like the one in the photo, here, or like they show in the IKEA catalogs.

Literally. I dream of that.

But I have to resign myself to lower ambitions, because I know I'll probably never manage total organization.






So there we have them: 13 Things I'll Probably Never Do.




















But nothing's impossible. I know that.






















So I dare to dream on a regular basis.



























I could even argue it's what I do - not exactly for a living, but still...
























It's what I'm good at.




















Oh, yeah.






























I find stuff like this, too.
Picture
Haari Haatainen - Javelin thrower
Ciao for now!
14 Comments
Xakara link
3/3/2011 05:09:42 am

I'm with you on the high heels, the driving, the biking and cats! *smile*

Happy TT,

~Xakara
<a href="http://xakara.livejournal.com/97969.html">13 Hooping Vids</a>

Reply
Maddy Barone link
3/3/2011 05:27:45 am

This was a super fun list, Kim! I'm dealing with that my-kenalog-shot-has-worn-off thing and I can't breathe through my nose right now. So I feel your pain.

Reply
CountryDew link
3/3/2011 05:51:53 am

What a great idea for a TT! Totally fun. I used to want to go to Egypt but now I won't fly because of the new pat-down protocols so I guess I'll never get there.

Reply
Jennifer Leeland link
3/3/2011 06:12:00 am

Oh I don't know. I'll bet you may do a few of them.
I hope you do get to go to India.

Reply
Alice Audrey link
3/3/2011 07:46:38 am

This is a great list! Totally love it.

Not only have I used a compound bow, I own one. I don't get out with it nearly as much as I would like to.

Reply
Yvette Davis link
3/3/2011 07:46:56 am

You have to hold her tail? Seriously? That is weird.

But I'll go to India with you. Problem is, I may not come back....

Reply
Kimberly Menozzi link
3/3/2011 08:00:15 am

@Xakara - Glad to know I'm not alone in these. :)

@Maddy - Thanks! I'm glad you liked it, but I'm sorry you're feeling poorly, too. We need cocoa and a book, methinks. ;)

@CountryDew - Thanks! I was feeling inspired after my late-night rendezvous with the kitty. Heh. I don't think travel to Egypt is that great an option right now, anyway. Maybe things'll be sorted out, sooner or later?

@Jennifer - Well, maybe one or two. Heh.
The desire to go to India has faded somewhat over the years - now I'm more focused on European sites. (Closer to home and all that.)

@Alice - Yay! I'm so happy so many folks enjoyed this one. I thought I "knew" someone who had the compound bow, but couldn't remember who for the life of me... :)

@Yvette - We do! Well, just to get her started, anyway. Then you have to hang around for a minute while she gets going or she'll stop and follow you around. It's sweet, but annoying sometimes. LOL! And if I ever make it to India, I'll let you know...

Reply
Darla M Sands link
3/3/2011 09:25:43 am

Fabulous list! The cat positively cracked me up. Feel better soon!

Reply
Mary Quast link
3/3/2011 09:40:54 am

Love your post. I love how random you can be. I haven't thought about anything I won't, haven't or can't do in a long time. I've been so focused on the can do and what I've done. I'm inspired to make a list and see what I'll do about that!

Happy TT.

Reply
Heather link
3/3/2011 10:38:30 am

Great idea for a T13! I'm with you on all of these except number thirteen, as I am a fairly well-organized person. Yes, I know, you hate me. LOL

Reply
Mama Zen link
3/3/2011 11:04:40 am

This is so funny!

Reply
Shelley Munro link
3/3/2011 12:10:16 pm

Great list! I love it. I have been to India. It's actually one of my favorite destinations and I'd love to visit again.

Reply
Tatiana Caldwell link
3/3/2011 04:31:39 pm

*laughs* I loved this post.

The part that most makes this post awesome to me? Is that I've either already done or wouldn't mind one day doing every single item on this list ...

... except for #12. Me, wheels and mountains just don't go well together.

Reply
Paige Tyler link
4/3/2011 03:51:57 pm

Great blog! And that guy is HOT!

*hugs*
Paige

My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Kimberly Menozzi

    Author. Happily Married. Survivor of life with two deranged kitties.

    Please note: Thanks to an increase in spam comments, I'll be approving the comments before they post. Sorry!

    Archives

    April 2022
    October 2020
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009

    Categories

    All
    150th
    15th
    2010
    2012
    27 Stages
    About Me
    Alternate Rialto
    Amazon
    Anniversary
    Ask Me
    Ask Me If I\\
    Ask Me If I'm Happy
    Ask Me If I\'m Happy
    Audio Interview
    Blog
    Blog Hop
    Bologna
    Book After Book
    Book Covers
    Books
    Books I Love
    Busy
    Buy
    Cameron Chapman
    Catch Up
    Catchupe6eedff5b6
    Celebration
    Characters
    Charcoal
    Charity
    Chris Hollis
    Christmas Lights
    Christmas Presents
    Contest
    Coppi
    Cover Art
    Cover Design
    Critique
    Cute
    Cycling
    Cyclists
    Dead Men
    Debut Novel
    Depression
    Diiarts
    Doctor Who
    Donations
    Doodlebug
    Earthquake Relief
    Ebook
    E Book
    E-book
    Emilia Romagna
    Emilia-Romagna
    Evil Unltd
    Excerpts
    Excited
    Excitement
    Eyecandy
    Fabian Cancellara
    Factoids
    Falco
    Family
    Fiction
    Filtered Light
    FREE
    Friday
    Funfacts
    Gift Idea
    Gift Suggestions
    Giro D
    Giro D'Italia
    Giveaway
    Goodreads
    Good Stuff
    Grammar
    Guest
    Guest Blog
    Guest Blogging
    Guest Blogs
    Guest Post
    Happiness
    Happy
    Hawt
    Heikki Heitala
    Holiday
    Hotties
    Inspiration
    Inspiriation
    International Women
    International Women's Day
    Interview
    Italian Life
    Italy
    John Lennon
    Kimberly
    Kimberly Menozzi
    Kindle Books
    Kitty
    Language
    Launch
    Leopard Trek
    Life
    Ljubljana Witch
    London
    Loss
    Love Story
    Martin Riley
    Menozzi
    Misconceptions
    Misused Words
    Nell Dixon
    New Release
    Novel
    Novella
    Novels
    November
    November 2010
    NSFW(?)
    Oli Johns
    Other Sites
    Otherworld Diner
    Packing
    Photography
    Photos
    Plans
    Process
    Professional Cycling
    Profoundly Shallow
    Promotion
    Published
    Purchase
    Purchases
    Random
    Random Thoughts
    Reading
    Re-cap
    Red Cross
    Reggio Emilia
    Remembering
    Research
    Review
    Reviews
    Richard Pierce
    Ridiculous
    Rip
    Road Cycling
    Robert Stermscheg
    Sad
    SAD?
    Samuele Bersani
    Sarah E Melville
    Self-censorship
    Sexy
    Simon Forward
    Smashwords
    Stage Three
    Story Excerpts
    Story Ideas
    Summer
    T13
    Thankful
    Thanksgiving
    The Next Big Thing
    Think Geek
    Thoughts
    Thursday 13
    Thursday Thirteen
    Time Trial Championships
    To Be Read
    Tragic
    Travel
    Trivia
    Tulagi Hotel
    Twitter
    Uk
    Venice
    Visits
    Weather
    Wip
    Women
    Women's Fiction Writers
    Wordless
    Wordless Wednesday
    Work In Progress
    Wouter Weylandt
    Wow
    Write On Wednesday
    Write On Wednesdays
    Writing
    Writing Process
    Yums

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.