13 Things I'll Probably Never Do

I had this blog done once. Completely. It was ready to go and all I needed to do was hit the "Publish" button. Instead, I hit something else and it went "poof".

Argh.

Anyway, here it is. Again.

The idea for this week's Thursday Thirteen came while I was up in the middle of the night with the cat (she insisted on having attention, along with fresh gooshy food) and a bad cold. I found myself thinking "I'll never sleep again," followed shortly by "I'll never breathe clearly again." (Give me a break - I'm sick and haven't rested well for a long time. I tend toward melodrama in these moments.) It occurred to me that there are things which I'm really not going to do, in any likelihood, and so I started jotting them down until the cat knocked the pen out of my hand. (Both hands for scritches, mm'kay?)

So now I'd like to share with you

13 Things I'll Probably Never Do

Sooooo not happening. (Quick and Dirty pic.)

1) Win an Academy Award.

I'm not saying it's totally impossible - writers do win them, of course - it's just not terribly likely.

It is unlikely the event would look anything like this picture. Worst hair in Oscars history, though. I'd be kinda proud of that. Too bad my body wouldn't be as nice in that dress.

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Nope. Not happening.

2) Walk on the Moon.

Just sayin' - it's not likely to happen, ya know? Although it'd be nice to be somewhere I could weigh what I did in high school. Heh.

3) Windsurf.

I hate the beach. I'm not keen on swimming in the ocean. The sun and I have an understanding: I avoid it and it doesn't cause me to get skin rashes.

And then I'd probably knock myself out with the sail on the board or something and drown.

Not gonna happen.

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My first-ever flight in an airplane was in this model of Cessna. Fact!

4) Learn to fly a plane.

I actually almost did this. Then life took me in a different direction. Grrr... Again, it's not impossible - just not likely at this point in time.

5) Own a muscle car.

When I was in high school, I wanted this kind of car so much I could taste it! (Ick.)

Now? Not so much. So I probably won't go out and get one now.

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6) Receive the Nobel Peace Prize.

With my temper? Are you kidding? I'll probably never do that.

Nope. This won't convince me.

7) Wear high heels.

I'm not a fashion fiend, so since I find heels uncomfortable, impractical and damaging to the body, I'll pass on them from here on out.

Besides, if I even wear house slippers with a slight wedge to 'em, my back goes out.

Not good.

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Further reasons why I won't wear 'em.

My hubby holding Sophie's tail so she can eat. Seriously.

8) Understand my cat's behavior.

Neuroticism taken to a whole new level. Sophie (a.k.a. Doodlebug) has a list of issues as long as my arm. Among them are these gems:
a) No one can sleep in if she's awake.
b) She must be kept company for no less than half an hour in the middle of the night - or no-one sleeps. (She's big on the whole sleep-deprivation thing, can you tell?)
c) If someone is home and she wants to eat/snack, that someone must hold her tail so she can do so.
d) Her tail is stalking her and must be destroyed.
e) She attacks my hubby as he goes into the shower and closes the shower stall door. Every. Morning. No exceptions!
f) Something in the sewing machine cabinet (it's empty, btw) is out to get us all - and she will defend us - but only at Midnight. Or later.
g) She randomly decides that we are about to do her harm and we must be stopped. At. All. Costs. Especially if we've opened a door to let her into a room she's been whining to be let into (i.e., my office). This is an unforgivable infraction of some unwritten law. Apparently.

Nope. I'll probably never understand her, but I'll take my cuddles when I can get 'em.

9) Drive a car in Italy.

Just, uhm... No.

I'll drive in the US, but not here. I don't have the right stuff.

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10) Go to India.

At one point in my life, this was actually quite likely to happen. Not now. I kinda think it'd be neat to do, still, but I lack the impetus at the moment to attempt it.

So, yeah. Probably not gonna do it.

11) Use a compound bow.

(How's that for random?)

I was once an archery enthusiast. (Target shooting only, thanks. I don't want to kill anything.) I preferred the simple bow at the time.

Then I thought I'd like to try a compound bow. As soon as I held one in my hand, I changed my mind. Not my thing.

I'll probably never use one.

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Don't try this at, uh, home...?

12) Ride a bike up l'Alpe d'Huez.

I'll probably never ride a bike up the hill my mother's house is on, much less up this gorgeous road. I'll leave it to the professionals, thanks. I'm not entirely sure I'd be averse to a couple of days in a camper waiting for the pros to do it, though. Heh. (It slows 'em down a bit... *pinch-pinch*)

This is NOT my office.

13) Get my office completely organized.

I'm messy by nature. I admit it. But I generally know where everything is, so it isn't usually a problem. (Usually.)

Still, I dream of having an office like the one in the photo, here, or like they show in the IKEA catalogs.

Literally. I dream of that.

But I have to resign myself to lower ambitions, because I know I'll probably never manage total organization.

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So there we have them: 13 Things I'll Probably Never Do.




















But nothing's impossible. I know that.






















So I dare to dream on a regular basis.



























I could even argue it's what I do - not exactly for a living, but still...
























It's what I'm good at.




















Oh, yeah.






























I find stuff like this, too.

Haari Haatainen - Javelin thrower

Ciao for now!